These days when I'm considering dating a guy that's not Aboriginal, I have a shopping list of questions I'd like answered first:. Throughout history, Aboriginal women and many white women also have had to protect themselves from white men.
In the words of Malcolm X: The same could be said for Australia. There's still a sense that Aboriginal women aren't as beautiful or deserving of love and respect than other women. This year an old clip of South African comedian Trevor Noah criticising the appearance of Aboriginal women surfaced — this man of colour was ridiculing us black women! Also, there's a bunch of cringe-worthy sexual stereotypes to navigate.
How dreadful to have to negotiate the saying, "Once you go black, you never go back".
I recently spoke to a woman of colour about my dilemma. I asked her if she would date a white man. Most couples will get to a point in their relationship when things start to get a bit more serious. It'll prompt different conversations, either it's shall we get a dog? Or should we move in together? But I'm dating someone who isn't Aboriginal, I dread other types of conversations because our whole relationship depends on how they pan out.
Expecting him to have all the right answers is unrealistic.
But you can tell when someone means well and when they don't. Ah, I'm kidding but it would cross my mind. But what I would do in this situation is keep the conversation going, to discover each other's perspectives. That said, there is limit to how many ignorant racist perspectives a person of colour can endure, and I shouldn't have to continuously defend myself, my race, or my people.
Racism in online dating is rife for women of colour
But sadly, that's our life. Personally, I hate confrontation because I'm not very good at it. Really — I fold like a cheap suit.
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But when it comes to defending myself, my culture and my people — a warrior rises inside me with a shield and spear ready to battle. So, when you're calling someone out, don't beat around the bush. And look, I don't have all the right words or advice but getting involved with someone who disrespects your race is something to be wary of, because a romantic relationship isn't just mutual attraction and shared interests.
You're letting someone into your culture, allowing them to see your world, and know your identity, which is really special.
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ABC Life helps you navigate life's challenges and choices so you can stay on top of the things that matter to you. But dating someone outside of my race makes that problem go away. After living abroad for 10 years now, meeting a man with similar interests, experiences, values and goals is an exercise in frustration as a whole — but narrowing the pool of acceptable applicants to those who share the same skin colour would guarantee me a golden girls' membership in spinsters anonymous.
- Racism in online dating is rife for women of colour - ABC Life!
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Dating as an Aboriginal woman: Here's how I avoid a racist - ABC Life
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